when crap talk leads me to this...

The thought that continues to linger in my head for the past 3-4 months can be quite annoying. It's like whenever I had nothing to do, my brain somehow has an automated function to channel all my brain-waves to a particular topic to think about. And that topic was the word, "Significance".

Well, I used to assume that this only occurs to 30 year old men-better known as the mid-life crisis. But, I'm turning 19 soon and I'm already thinking about doing 'something' significant in my life. This is no mid-life crisis, however I also hope that being 19 won't mean that I'm already halfway through my life!!! [ that would mean my life would end at 38? ] . Touch wood. My life has barely begun...and that is what worries me.

I always had this personal philosophy, dictating how I should live my life. I believe that if we can't do something significant with our lives, then there is no point in living. So, just being a year shy of turning 20, one like myself would begin to wonder whether the life I'm living right now is significant enough to leave its mark in our generation. If I were to die today, would I leave a legacy or simply, would anyone remember me after 40 years?My point is: Is life really that significant after all?

...Is my life now significant? Or heck, are our lives significant? We are only 1 among 6 billion inhabitants on Earth and if one of us should die, would that make any huge difference to the population. Perhaps numbers in this case [ since there are 6 billion+ people here] would make neither of us significant. If the Earth has only 5 people in it and one of us should die, then there would be a 20% drop in the population! So, as the number of Earthlings are on the steady rise, people become less significant. Ultimately, our lives become less...significant.

Unless you want to LIVE a life and not just SURVIVE, you might probably ask; what then can make our lives significant. A certain guy from our history books once said that, "What we do today echoes in eternity." Hence, I believe it's important for us to live with ambitions. It doesn't matter whether our ambitions are high or low, as long as we set our purpose to live... then it is all that matters in the end.

But somehow, during the stillness of the night [like now...], with my WinAmp playing softly in minimized mode on my Windows taskbar, I still doubt my very own existance. I still question whether my life is really that important...or significant? So, while I was chatting on MSN with a friend of mine one night, we were talking crap and then we came up with this topic: What if I weren't born?

Har?

Tough one. The "what if" seems to be very subjective. But heck, for the fun of it I came up with this:
___________________________________________________________________

What if I Weren't Born?

1. My room would probably be a store room.
   
2. My parents would have extra money to spend on their own.
   
3. More ugly people.
4. Fewer smart people.
5. Others would have a bigger share of oxygen.
6. Government suffers in lesser tax revenue.
7. McDonalds won't have any other reason to sell BigMacs.
8. Stupid people wouldn't know that they are stupid.
9. Smart people wouldn't know that they are not so smart after all.
10. My school wouldn't be famous.
11. My guitar would still be on the shelf in the shop.
12. Digi has lesser profits from monthly top-ups.
13. There will be no Star Trek fan in Malaysia.
14. Petroleum reserves could last for another 100 years instead of 50 years.
15. The world would not know what is 'elegance'.
16. Kepong would probably be an independent state.
17. There would be no reason to build an F1 circuit.
18. Mamak stalls have no reason to sell Sirap Limau.
19. Arsenal has one less hard-core fan and...
    
20. I would not be typing this right now.

After thorough analysis of the list above, I came to a conclusion that my life is significant after all. These 20 possible scenarios could take place if I didn't exist. Either way, my life did alter the course of history. My life did affect the timeline in which I am in. My life did influence mankind...that is if you agree with my list of probabilities above. Now, I'll probably create another list, but with a different title. I would start with, " Now that Jonathan is here..." and carry on with 20 more entries [ probably more] on what might happen since Jonathan is here. Or I should say, what WILL happen since I am here...