Kuala Lumpur is like a packet of jellybeans

It has been a while since anything was written on this poor blog of mine. How long has it been? A year? Gosh. When my blog was dead (I mean inactive if you can't visualize metaphors), I was alive (I mean active if you think I don't have a life with Prison Breaks, football and all). What I really mean is that for the past year, I was too busy to write stuffs on my blog. And now, since I have a sweet loooong holiday ( FYI, it's 3 months +), I have all the time in the world to write anything I like and whenever I like! Sweet.

To stay alive these days, I have to do something. Blogging is one thing. But there's so much things to do!!! Like sleeping, sleeping and....sleeping. That's not too bad actually. At least I get to dream different dreams. So, it's like watching TV without actually watching TV. So, since I only get inspiration during ungodly hours (like now), I'd better post something before my inspiration decides to pack and leave. And it's about: KUALA LUMPUR (oh yes! very "interesting")

But hey, it's Visit Malaysia 2007 and I'm doing my part. Hail ME the patriot~ :)

Kuala Lumpur or Mud City is a very chap city. The chap here is referred to the same word as chap fan or mixed rice. It is the staple food of the working class because not only it's cheap, it's good. If you still don't know what chap fan is and you dare call yourself a Malaysian, please go hang yourself. No kidding. It's like the next best thing to mamak. Though I have to admit, some chap fan stalls suck big time.

So you ask, what's so chap about Mud City. I shall first define the word chap. In Cantonese, chap would be roughly translated as... ... ... erm I can't seem to match it with any English word. But let me put it this way. Picture: Jinjang as a packet of jellybeans. (Don't be offended if you are from Jinjang because it's a fact. However, it's not applicable to cool people from there) Mud City can be as classless as Jinjang and yet have much variety as a packet of jellybeans. We have Chinese, Indians, Malays, Bangladeshis, Nigerians, Arabs, Whites, Japanese, Koreans and etc, all in Mud City. Very colourful, eh? Yeah, just like a packet of jellybeans. Get it? Well, don't believe me? Just spend 1 hour in KL Sentral and you know what I mean. We have different races and cultures in Mud City and at the same time, we have places like Petaling Street, Chow Kit, Brickfields and Kampung Dato' Haron - the notorious places.

There was once a group of students on the train which I boarded to downtown. They were speaking Mandarin and Cantonese so loud that I don't think they actually knew they were on a train; a train WITH LOTS OF PEOPLE.

I was like, "Hello??? We are not interested in how many creatures you've slained in DOTA or who's the next big Taiwan star with the cute face."

Frankly, I was just as annoyed as everyone else on board. My first conclusion was that they were from Jinjang (Don't get offended if you are from Jinjang but seriously - you guys do tend to speak loud). And I laughed to myself. Cruelty is found in jokes sometimes. :)

There was also once when I was walking down on a pedestrian path and I saw the most uncivilized thing a civilized man (which is me in this case) could ever encounter: Someone spitting his concoction of saliva and phlegm right onto the road. My immediate reaction was;

" ... " x1000

And to make things nastier, there were tourists walking around. And don't get me started on the littering. Sigh. The people Mud City do need to know a little something called 'civic conscience'.

To actually experience first-hand the chap-ness of Mud City, you could just go to any shopping mall and observe the sense of dressing some people have. What you'll see is either over hip hop-ish or too much of Taiwanese influence (Lala). And once in a while, you'll get people who wear slippers and shorts in shopping malls, t-shirt of wrestling stars, metal chains and so on. I'm not fashionably vain or something but at least I know how to dress. Sometimes I wish I could just say,

" Dude, bell bottoms and slippers just don't mix. And yeah, lose the dragons. Dragons are so not cool. "

And then walk way. That will make a great scene in a movie.

Despite Mud City being chap and all, it is still a nice place. It may not be as classy as Milan, Paris or New York but it certainly has the flair and colours of a metropolis. When different types of cultures diverge in one place, there could only be one outcome - the food. The people of Mud City take pride in the variety of cuisines they have: Chinese, Malay, Indian, mamak, Italian, German, Korean, Japanese, Thai and so much more. However, as chap as Mud City can be, our food definitely compensates for the chap-ness. If not, we still have the Twin Towers to boast about, at least...